Bridge Partnerships

This page deals with the social aspects of bridge partnerships.  It’s a lot like marriage, only more serious.

1         Finding

A good partner will share your values, availability, and commitment.  Your bridge partner needs to be a person you like and respect because you will be spending a lot of time together.

A mentor, someone with considerably more experience than you, makes a great partner.  Playing with a mentor allows you to learn a lot and maybe even get a few master points.  Unfortunately, potential mentors generally have a full dance card.  You might need to pay for a mentor’s time.

If paying for a mentor does not work for you, take bridge classes and ask a fellow student to partner with you.  You will likely need to try out several people before finding the right person.

Your spouse would be a poor choice unless you have great conflict resolution skills.  The gloves generally come off quickly when spouses play bridge together.  Also, Match.com would be a poor place to find a bridge partner as members will likely be searching for something other than a bridge partner.

2         Keeping (Bridge Partnerships)

You need good social skills.  Criticizing your partner’s bidding, play of the hand, or shoes rarely improves anything.  Building a solid relationship with your partner takes time and requires communication.  Instead of starting a conversation with “Why did you …,” try starting the conversation with “Tell me about ….”  Regardless of how bone-headed your partner’s action may have been, your objective is to improve your team rather than to place blame.

You need to be reliable.  Failing to show up for an agreed play date, disappoints and annoys your partner.  Further, your reputation suffers.  If you make a play date, keep it.

Stay focused and pay attention.  When you lay down your dummy hand, finding an ace stuck behind a king or a heart nestled in with the diamonds guarantees a bad board and frustrates your partner. 

3         Trusting

Trusting your partner requires you to believe your partner bids accurately and according to partnership agreements.  Even if you trust your partner, people make mistakes.  And those mistakes erode trust.  Playing with a new partner makes trust problematic as you will likely have misunderstandings about partnership agreements.  And you thought bridge was just about the math.

4         Breaking Up (Bridge Partnerships)

“I never want to play with you again.”  Maybe that’s what you want to say, but it’s a bad idea.

Your partner deserves an explanation and honesty is always the best policy, but let kindness guide you.  After the break up, you will likely see your ex-partner with some frequency and for a long time.  Specifically, you will see your ex-partner at the bridge table as an opponent.

Use a phone call or face-to-face meeting.  A discussion allows your partner to ask questions and for you to gently explain.    Using a text message shields you from tears or anger, but excludes the opportunity to minimize hurt feelings.

Start the discussion with a question about your partner’s feelings.  For example, “How would you feel about not playing together for a while?”  If your partner asks “why,” respond with a statement about your feelings.  For example, “I need time to regain my composure because of ….” Keep it short and pointed.  If your partner replies, “I’ll never do that again,” respond with “I understand, but I still need some time.”

4         Avoiding

You need to be ready with a sensitive “no thank you” reply for bridge partnerships.  Say something like “I’m not ready to take on a new partner just now” or “my calendar is totally booked, but I’ll keep you in mind if something opens up.”